Missing Michael

Some nights, I want to write you a hello.

I can't. My fingers freeze at the keyboard now

at the sight of your name.

I remember how free they felt.

How they articulated relentlessly

when I wrote you good mornings.

I remember I used to sit you down,

and I told you how much I loved you.

Even when you were asleep, I kept

writing at the sight of you.

Paragraphs and sentences, and the commas

kept coming, skipping the period.

I wish I can hold you one more time.

One last time.

I wish I can ask you to stay with me

longer in the car at night.

I never regret a single minute of it,

because I know I'll need it someday

when I let you go.

I don't know where you are now,

but I hope you are well.

If I can kiss you one last time.

I'd ask for a second kiss.

And then another one.

Until I keep on kissing you,

until I can buy more time.

I wish I can lay in bed with you for a few minutes.

And then I'd ask for ten more.

Until we fall asleep in each other's arms,

and we never have to part for the night

like the few nights we shared in the past.

I wish I can see your face again,

instead of getting my fill of it on my phone screen.

I wish I can touch your cheeks again.

And hold your hand in the car.

And brush your hair.

And see you across the table.

One last time.

And maybe we can forget what went wrong between us.

Maybe we can forget what is wrong between us.

Forget that we're not meant for each other.

Just one last time? For as long as my heart

get its fill of happiness again.

I really only wished to be loved.

The same way I loved you because 

I am not going to lie, I truly loved you

more than you have loved me.

And I still do. I keep wishing for one last time.

One last time...? For a few more minutes...?

Stay with me for a few more minutes...?

Let's talk about the tree branches,

and how the squirrels are friendly.

Let's talk about how it's dark at night,

and how our eyes see more colors in the day.

Let's get ice cream...?